Taking Time To Live In The Actual World

by Melissa Miller-Young, CLC on February 16, 2012

I heard about a condition recently called “text neck”. Recognized as a growing problem, doctors and chiropractors say people hunched over their mobile gadgets are developing neck strain, headaches, pain in the shoulders, and sometimes even the arms and hands. As ridiculous as it sounds, text neck is not a new condition, but it is getting a lot more attention than it used to because so many people are suffering from it. Doctors used to call it forward head posture, but because of the increased incidence, text neck is what it is commonly referred to.

I am one of the millions of people today that frequently hunch over a mobile gadget, and until recently, I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten. I have an iPhone that’s in my hand or pocket practically all the time. An iPad where I download apps and books by the gig. I also have a laptop that I use all the time on my lap. I get text messages, tweets, and news updates regularly, and my little phone beeps, chimes, and lights up all hours of the day and night.

Just recently, I started noticing that neck is hurting, a LOT, and my head is hanging a little lower by default, even when I don’t have an iSomething in my hands or on my lap. You guessed it, I have text neck.

In addition to calling a chiropractor and massage therapist and scheduling appointments, I took a very hard look at the cause…my beloved iSomethings. It doesn’t matter how many times I go see the chiropractor and the massage therapist, if I don’t do something about the underlying cause, text neck could very easily become my new thing.

Going outside to enjoy the beautiful winter weather we’ve been having doesn’t count if I have an iSomething in my hands. Taking a walk doesn’t count if I’m answering text messages on the greenways trail. And it’s hard to enjoy the sunset on my drive home if I am answering messages or checking the weather on my phone at stoplights (no I don’t text and drive).

I need to hold my head high, and once again, look life in the eye.

While constant connectivity can be a blessing, it can also be a curse. Personally I know that I have missed a lot of things that used to make me smile. Birds  – you know, the real ones that fly around – used to hold my attention, but now I default to tweets. A coffee date or phone call with a friend used to help keep me up to speed on their lives, and now it has been replaced with text messaging and Facebook updates. And I know I’m not alone. Walk into any restaurant in any city and you will see tables filled with people not talking to each other, but totally engrossed in conversations on their smartphones.

There has to be a balance.

My son recently had his iPhone stolen, and get this, he doesn’t miss it! At all! He’s 21 years old, and doesn’t miss it! He has a phone, very, very basic phone, that makes and receives calls, and he can text to a point. He leaves home without his phone all the time too. Gary, does that too, leaves home without his iPhone all the time. He takes walks with nothing to entertain him but the view and the breeze, and enjoys it! They inspire me. They take the time to enjoy life, and look it right in the eye.

That being said, I’m not going to go all crazy, pitch my iSomethings, and go back to snail mail and a land line, because I really, really LIKE connectivity, and am the biggest girl geek ever when it comes to technology. But I get it, I need to focus on life too. I didn’t become a gadget-a-holic overnight, and I’m not going to be able to be all disconnected overnight either. I’m just going to make a series of slow, methodical changes to get back into life.

I’ve turned the push notifications off on my phone, which has cut the little beeps, chimes, and lights down to practically nothing. I’ve disabled professional emails from my phone too, if it’s business, I’ll answer it from my desk. And the last friend that sent me a text, I called back instead of texting and set a lunch date. Baby steps.

Every little change will make it easier to hold my head high, look life in the eye, and make the most of what’s happening in the actual world.

How’s your balance?

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Too Much Stuff…

by Melissa Miller-Young, CLC on November 1, 2011

For the past couple of weeks I have been busy helping a friend, sort, pitch, pack, and donate. She’s getting ready to make a cross-country move and after a few years in her current home, she’s done what we’ve all done – accumulated too much stuff. Gary and I came to the same realization a few years ago while we were getting ready to move to a smaller place – too much stuff, and we too spent our time sorting, pitching, packing, and donating.

She’s done it, I’ve done it, we’ve all done it, accumulated too much stuff. Whether it’s stuff that has been passed down to us through our families, gifts, cards, or keepsakes, or notes, and special mementos from our kids, we box it up and move it with us time and time again. And that’s not to mention the stuff WE add into the mix -books (my own personal weakness) furniture, dishes, appliances, you name it, we are a society that very closely identifies with our stuff.

The question is, at what cost. What does it mean to be surrounded by too much stuff? I mean, some stuff is fine, we all have stuff, but what about when it’s too much?

For many, myself included, there’s a sense of emotional attachment felt for possessions, which with a few items here and there it’s no big deal, but as with anything, it could easily grow to be too much. Photos and a small token from a trip is one thing, but every single ticket stub, plane ticket, hotel room keys and “mementos” of every trip you’ve ever taken, could be too much. The dress your daughter wore home from the hospital or the blanket that her grandmother quilted for her is one thing, her entire wardrobe from the first year of her life, too much. You get the picture. A few things here and a few things there can take you back to a particular time and place that held importance, and that’s the priceless kind of stuff.

And then there are other people’s things. If you are insistent on keeping every single dish from your grandmother AND your mother’s kitchen, not to mention your own, chances are, it’s too much. For example, I used to know a woman who had an absolutely BEAUTIFUL home but it was cluttered to the max. Not in a hoarder sort of way, everything was organized and visible, it was just too much. It was all beautiful, expensive stuff, but it was decades of her own shopping and collecting, and every single knickknack and piece of art that had been passed on to her from numerous relatives. It made me a nervous wreck, it was all just too much.

While there are books on simplifying your life, or workshops to clear the clutter, at the end of the day we all have our own point where we reach “too much.” So how to decide? How to know what to keep and what to pitch?

It’s simple.

A few years ago I attended a workshop and heard the phrase, “If it does not serve a purpose and it does not bring you joy, let it go.”

That’s right, if it does not serve a purpose and it does not bring you joy, let it go. I can go into my kitchen and meet that criteria with every single item in there. My food processor – serves a multitude of purposes, my grandmother’s kitchen cabinet, brings me joy. My teapot, serves a purpose, the cup my son bought me for my birthday last year, brings me joy. Walk into the next room, and the next room, and repeat the process and you will be AMAZED with the amount of stuff that you can get rid of. And it’s EASY!

Inspired by helping my friend, I realized that I’m guilty of too much stuff right now, and really haven’t gotten rid of much in the past couple of years. I came home one night, went upstairs and spent two hours going through my closets and drawers, getting rid of clothes that don’t fit, or I simply don’t wear anymore. I also went to the closet on the landing, the closet that holds all of my keepsake “stuff”. That closet also happens to be the place where I put even more stuff that I don’t know what to do with. The stuff I can’t ask the “serve a purpose or bring me joy” question, and put into the closet until another time.

I got rid of STUFF. A lot of STUFF!!!! I mean, do I really need plane ticket stubs? All of them? NO! Do I need the real estate appraisal/inspection on the house I sold 12 years ago? NO! Do I need bank statements from the 1990’s? A box of business cards for the job I held 10 years ago? No! Do I need the research notes from a column I wrote in 2003? Or 15 copies of the magazine that published my first article? No! I went through that closet and I let stuff go!

And guess what? I feel lighter, because I’m no longer bogged down by that closet full of stuff.

And that’s exactly what will happen. If you can go through your stuff and ask yourself, if it serves a purpose or brings you joy, and if you can follow through and let go of excess stuff something miraculous will happen. You will be clearing space in your life for new experiences.

Doubt me? Why don’t you go through one room in your house and let me know what happens!

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Hello – Your Life Is Calling

August 29, 2011

This weekend was our anniversary. Eight years together, three years married. It was a time to celebrate, a time to reflect, and a time to connect. It’s the connect thing that has me thinking. And no, I’m not talking connect – connect, I’m talking about paying attention, being in the moment, truly being present for [...]

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Excuses for Unhealthy Living (and Why They Are Crap)

July 19, 2011

Today I’m excited to feature a post from my friend Pamela Hernandez. Pamela owns Thrive Personal Fitness, and blogs regularly on all things health and fitness! I think that this post shines a light on the excuses so many of us make! As a personal trainer my job is to teach people how to balance [...]

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The New Kid On The Block – Neotame

July 12, 2011

Guess what. The folks at NutraSweet have developed a new and improved neurotoxin called Neotame. Great, right? According to Holisticmed.com, Neotame has similar structure to aspartame – except that, it appears to be even more toxic. Like aspartame, some of the concerns include gradual neurotoxic and immunotoxic damage from the combination of the formaldehyde metabolite [...]

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Life Is About Moments…Not Things

May 26, 2011

Sometimes something comes along that forces us to shift our perspective. Sometimes that something is big, sometimes, not so much. Either way, the bottom line is that life and how we live it is simply a matter of perspective. I woke up on Sunday morning thinking about this car that I want to buy. Now [...]

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Where Are YOU On Your To-Do List?

May 18, 2011

There are SO many things to do, and so little time. Work, friends and family, children, spouse, social priorities, family priorities, professional responsibilities. Go, go, go, go, and more than likely, you spend your days looking at your to-do list instead of listening to your heart. Day planners, iPhones, Blackberries and the ability to always [...]

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A Smile Can Be Good For You

April 11, 2011

A smile confuses an approaching frown – Unknown I had to run in to Wal-Mart the other day. Yes, I know, Wal-Mart bad, really bad. I get it, I know it, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I mean, where else could I get batteries, trash bags, a rake, orange juice, and [...]

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Stepping Away From The Drama

April 4, 2011

There are so many dramatic situations playing out everywhere right now. The natural disasters, the political strife, the economy…the list goes on and on. Sometimes it’s all too much to look at, oftentimes, too much to bear.  You would think that that with all of the drama in the world that we can’t control, that [...]

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A Few False Starts…

March 30, 2011

I used to be a Monday dieter, meaning that no matter what I was eating Thursday, Friday, Saturday or even Sunday, I was going to start my diet on Monday, for real. And I told myself that same thing, over and over and over again. Once I moved away from Mondays, I became a “tomorrow” [...]

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